Going into the New Year naked!

As written in my last blog I recently had the privilege of following some of the Apostle Paul’s footsteps in Greece and Turkey. What were especially meaningful to me were the occasions our Greek Christian tour guide related the uncommon things we were seeing to what Paul and the ancient Greeks would have known as common. For instance, whether we were in museums or walking through ancient Greek or Turkish cities, we encountered statues of naked people. Why? The culture of the day believed the human form was the measure of all things, both beauty and the divine. The perfect body was the athletic body and athletes competed naked. 

In the first few verses of Hebrews chapter 12, the author (possibly Paul) makes a parallel between athletics and our Christian life. 

“Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance 

the race that is set before us…”

The readers of the day would have quickly understood the comparison. We, however, wouldn’t. When we have the backdrop of what is being described it surely gives us an appreciation for what we also are being challenged to do. 

To the Greeks, a cloud was a literary term used for a group of people. In this case, it was those people witnessing the athletes competing in a race. Laying aside every weight, in its literal sense, was referring to the body fat of the athlete or the weights that they trained with on their arms and legs; all of which they were to get rid of when competing. What would potentially ensnare, entangle or cause them to trip were their robes, which they took off, running naked and free from all these encumbrances.

Endurance would be required for the race they were running. The Greek word for “race” is an athletic term meaning “agony” in English. Somehow the words “endurance” and “agony” would more duly fit the marathon race and not the 100-metre!

Panathenaic Stadium in Athens.
Hosted the first modern Olympic Games in 1896.
Reconstructed from the remains of an ancient Greek stadium.
Built entirely by marble.

So this is the picture the author of Hebrews was painting for the readers then, and now for us. The cloud of witnesses are those referred to in the “Hall of Faith” in Hebrews 11. These men and women remained faithful, albeit making imperfect progress, in the race set before them. We are to follow their example and remove unnecessary excesses or weights in our lives, taking off those sins that will end up entangling, encumbering, and ensnaring us, as we endeavour to run the race that has been prepared for each one of us. It means getting rid of everything the world tells us to hang onto – the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life (1 John 2:16). It also means not giving up. After 43 years of running this race, I can assure you it requires endurance. I remember the Lord saying to me quite a few years ago that He wasn’t training me to be a sprinter, but rather, a marathon runner.  

The writer of Hebrews goes on to point the runners of this race to their ultimate goal…

 “looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, 

and has sat down at the right hand of the 

throne of God.”

He’s the One who started the race, ran it and finished it. All the while in an attitude of vulnerability, humility, openness – nothing to hide – naked! Perhaps as we end 2014 and head into 2015, we need to stop long enough and ask Holy Spirit to show us what weights, encumbrances – sins - we are still carrying that are keeping us from running our race of faith with fleetness and strength. Then laying them aside… Let’s go into this New Year naked!

"Don't leave home without it" (Part 2)

I recently had the privilege of joining a Christian tour group as we endeavoured, in 10 days, to follow some of the Apostle Paul’s footsteps in Greece and Turkey. This was a belated 50^th Jubilee Birthday trip for me. The tour proved to be both packed full of sights and availed impactful insights into the historical and biblical significance of places like Athens, Corinth, Patmos, Ephesus, Crete, Berea, Thessaloniki, Philippi. An amazing God-incidence was that we happened to be in Berea, Greece when I celebrated my 51^st Birthday. Because of my love for the Word and study of it, I couldn’t imagine being in a more meaningful place on that special day. 

Ancient Ruins at Thessaloniki

Jewish synagogue in Berea

In case your memory isn’t serving you so well, I’ll give you some background on the significance of Berea as found in Acts 17. Paul and Silas were in Thessalonica and after leading many Greeks to the truth of Jesus; some jealous Jews gathered a mob to accuse them of turning the world upside down. However, they couldn’t find Paul and Silas to bring them before the rulers of the city. The two men of God escaped that night and made their way to Berea. There they found in the synagogue Jews who were more open than those in Thessalonica. In fact, “…they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true.” 

Plaques in Berea commemorating the Bereans

The Bereans were lovers of the truth and definitely didn’t leave home without it. We may think that back in those days it was easier to discover and know the truth, but not so. From our tour we learned that Greece was inundated with philosophies, gods and goddesses, and the worship thereof. In Athens, the common phrase one would use when approaching a friend or stranger was, “What’s news?” According to Acts 17:21, “For all Athenians and the foreigners who were there spent their time in nothing else but either to tell or to hear some new thing.” We could say truth was relative. That’s one of the reasons why Paul’s assignment to preach the truth that Jesus Christ was the only way to the Father was met with such opposition. It wasn’t until people met and acknowledged the Truth that they were set free.

From my observations, our 21^st Century post-modern thinking hasn’t proven to be much different to the philosophies of Paul’s day. In many ways, we’re still asking, “What’s news?” desperately wanting to latch onto the newest and latest craze. This pervasive way of thinking has even seeped into the body of Christ where experience supersedes reason, subjectivity supersedes objectivity, images supersedes words, and outward supersedes inward. When one values experience more than reason then truth becomes relative. In other words, up to the individual. And if it’s up to the individual’s experience to decide what is the truth then this negates the Bible being the source of absolute truth. It becomes up to the individual to define and interpret truth – it can be this one day, and that another day. 

For us not to have an immovable, undeniable source of truth is like throwing us to the lions – we will be devoured! We truly need to go back to the way of the Bereans measuring every new teaching, every new thought against the God-breathed Scripture, as Paul so aptly described it to Timothy. 

Statue of Paul in Berea

When Jesus was brought before Pilate He was asked if He was a king. Jesus replied that Pilate was accurate in his description and that He had indeed come into the world to bear witness to the truth. Jesus goes onto promise that everyone who is of the truth will hear His voice. Perhaps this is a good litmus test for us all. Do we hear Jesus’, the Word’s, voice in what we are listening to, or reading? If we aren’t, then it isn’t the truth. Someone’s voice will end up being stronger – our own, the world’s, the enemy’s, or God’s. In Paul’s description of the Word to Timothy, he was highlighting that God’s voice will only be stronger if we take time to allow His Word to teach, rebuke, correct and train us in righteousness so that we may be thoroughly equipped for every good work (2 Timothy 3:16, 17).

In essence what Paul was saying to Timothy was, “Don’t leave home without it!

"Don't leave home without it" (Part 1)

I grew up in Canada watching a television ad for American Express traveller’s cheques whose slogan was, “Don’t leave home without it.” I suppose American Express reckoned that not having their traveller’s cheques in your possession when you left home would set you up for challenges - ones that could have been prevented had you left home with them. 

At the beginning of 2012, knowing that I would be phasing out of pastoring a church, I asked the Lord what I should be focussing on next. He made it clear that I was to be proactive in contributing to, “Eradicating Bible poverty and increasing Bible engagement.” He was basically saying that I could go “further with fewer” by having them “linger a little longer” in His Word. Thus, I started Bible Studies with groups of young ladies. It was my way of creating an environment in which they could engage with the Word of God. I have been facilitating studies in the Word ever since, with both young women and young men. Like the parable of the sower and the seed, I have seen a few who hear, receive the Word and understand it, producing fruit. I would like to believe that those few have lived by the slogan “Don’t leave home without it.”

Unfortunately, too many of us followers of Christ are leaving home without the Word. As I imperfectly progress in my journey with Jesus I am realizing more and more that the Word is not an “it” but a “Who.” “And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us…” is what John says. So when we are spending time in the Word, we are spending time with the Word, who is Jesus. Too many times throughout my Christian life I have read the Word dutifully, making sure I can tick off that I did the Bible reading for that day; definitely not lingering a little longer, but rather doing it as quick as possible so I could get on with the more pressing matters of the day. My time in the Word became more functional than relational. I wasn’t really engaging with the “Who” of the Word, nor was I encountering Him on a deep personal level. 

Perhaps because I am now a spiritual mother to many young adults I am learning to see from another perspective. I endeavour to nurture an open, involved relationship with them, sharing my heart and happenings in an effort to model the meaning of relationship. In the past, I would have easily served a role, a function and would have left home without my heart. Consequentially, this would have been viewed as fulfilling a role or doing a job. I well remember my first spiritual daughter saying that she felt I was treating her like a project and not a person. What a wake-up call!

Now, as I spend time with the “Who” of the Word and nurture a relationship with Him, I am allowing that relationship to spill over into others. I must admit when I make every effort to value these relationships, I am hurt when I find out about girl-guy relationships, or that they are getting married, or that they’ve had a baby, through social media or someone else. I am getting a small taste of how God must feel when we carry on with life without including Him. And then we ask Him to bless whatever we’ve decided to do. This only highlights to Him that we are more interested in His functionality, than we are in nurturing and maintaining a relationship with Him.

What I so love and appreciate about Jesus, whose nature is in us, is the fact that He didn’t leave home without the “Who” - His relationship with the Father and the Holy Spirit. He spent time with the Father before He made a move because He valued that relationship. Likewise, He spent time with His disciples explaining to them what was happening and involving them in the process because He valued them. Relationship, not function, was what He modelled, and what He desired, and still desires, to have with us – not being left at home as we carry on with our lives. 

Let’s take heed that we “Don’t leave home without Him!”  

Reformation Day (Part 2)

… This challenge was to be tested when the Pope’s emissary arrived to a town close to Wittenburg, seeking to raise money for the rebuilding of St. Peter’s Cathedral in Rome. As he and his patrons set up their booth, hundreds of desperate souls flocked around. What was on sale this time? Absolution of all sins as well as an indulgence for the souls of dead relatives who would be released right away from purgatory into heaven. My heart sank when I heard the jingle echo throughout the streets that went like this, “As soon as the coin in the coffer rings, the soul from purgatory springs.” As I watched ignorant souls blindly respond to this unjust requirement, I knew that it was time to rise up and take action. 

The best way I knew to do this was to enter a public debate. Very deliberately and methodically, I wrote my 95 Theses and on October 31, 1517, posted them to the door of the Castle Church in Wittenburg. My arguments were stated clearly, “Those who assert that a soul straight away out of purgatory as the coin tinkles in the collection box are preaching an invention of man.” My goal was purposefully put forward and that was to expose the church’s preoccupation with material treasures, rather than on its true treasure, the Gospel. As I was not out to demise the church’s role in society, I wrote my theses in Latin so that only the clergy could read it. Despite this safeguard, my paper was translated by scholars into German and circulated to the masses. It seemed that I was not the only one disillusioned by the church; the public was simply waiting for someone to be a voice to their thoughts. I happened to be chosen to be that someone. The small fire that I thought I was lighting, by writing my paper, turned out to be a wildfire! No sooner had it started than I was swept into its flames.

I never would have imagined that writing down my objections would become what we refer to today as the Reformation. With that first log thrown into the fire, I was stirred to fuel it with more writings that were released in great numbers. Thousands of people were influenced by the revelation that was hastened by the invention of the printing press. From the age of 40, I was turning out a book every two weeks. My wave was making more waves and they were crashing onto their own shores all over the world. Politicians were beginning to see the benefits of a Germany independent of Rome. This was not only about religious freedom, but also political freedom. As much as my writings were met with favour, was as much as they were met with disapproval. So much so that Rome ordered my writings to be burned and my followers excommunicated in 60 days if I didn’t recant. In one city, this notable job was given to an illiterate gravedigger and 50 students who mistakenly burned tracts that were against my teachings! Three years after posting my 95 Theses to the church doors, I was issued an edict from the Pope excommunicating me as a heretic and he further demanded the burning of my books. I did not see this as a setback, but as a stimulus to write three more books and to burn the Pope’s edict. In the back of my mind, I knew I would not escape the reprisal of such a bold act and it happened that I was summoned to appear in the town of Worms to answer questions about my teachings and writings. I was to stand before King Charles V and be challenged to recant my position. My reply to this challenge was as follows, 

“Since your most serene majesty and your high mightiness require from me a clear, simple and precise answer, I will give you one, and it is this: I cannot submit my faith either to the Pope, or to the councils, because it is clear as the day that they have frequently erred and contradicted each other. Unless by the clearest reasoning – unless I am persuaded by means of the passages I have quoted – and unless they thus render my conscience bound by the Word of God, I cannot and will not retract, for it is unsafe for a Chrisitian to speak against his conscience.” 

And then, looking on this assembly before which I stood, and that held my life in its hands I said, “Here I stand, I can do no other; may God help me! Amen! How could I retract what I believed to be true? For I believed that a single layman armed with the Scripture is to be believed above the Pope or a council without it. The King’s response to my statements was that I had 21 days to return to Wittenburg and I was seen as a heretic, excommunicated and placed under a ban that restricted me to living in one area the rest of my life. Others pronounced more drastic measures such as death threats and burning at the stake. On my return journey from Worms my escort was ambushed. I was to discover that this was a plan devised by the leader of Wittenburg to place me in hiding for the next year where I began the translation of the New Testament into German that unfortunately wasn’t finished until many years later.

I could tell you many more events and writings from the rest of my life; some of which I regret; some of which I glory. I found myself a leader of thousands before I knew it, and in my human form, I often led in an unenlightened way; or others took my teachings to a depth that they were never intended to go. Nonetheless, in my spirit form, my wave produced many other waves that impacted nations the world over. This revelation of grace and faith released a newly discovered dignity in man that was the catalyst for massive political, educational, and social reforms. My life was lived with one motto: “Coram Deo: All of life lived before God.”  I could do no less than live my life accordingly. I was spared the price of my life; but many of my comrades were not. They paid the ultimate price. Never would I have known that one piece of paper would change the future. Never would I have imagined that I would be known as the Founder of the Reformation. 

Humbly, Martin Luther   

(Taken from “Stories of the Reformers” by Kathy Gooch 2005)

Reformation Day (Part 1)

Like the horizon, some lives are meant to be timeless and have no end. Mine was such a life. I had a beginning, but the memory of my life has no end. Some lives are like a pebble dropped into a pond that sends out ripples reaching the water’s edge. Others are like waves starting at the centre of the ocean moving at such intensity that they produce another wave, and another. Those waves crash against the rocks with such force that after a prolonged time, the once rough surfaces become silky smooth. 

My life was to be a wave; although perhaps not the one at the centre; nevertheless, one that would produce momentum, speed and force in the waves after me. What makes the difference between a ripple and a wave? That of an enquiring heart; not satisfied with life as it is; someone willing to ask the hard questions and equally willing to search for the answers. I believe I was asking the hard questions even before that fateful day when riding in the forest, my friend was struck by lightning. Of course, this tragic event jolted me into reality; but was I really joining reality when I became a monk and found myself in a world dominated by superstition, fear of evil spirits and a belief in eternal purgatory and damnation? I was searching for answers. My superiors took note of my enquiring mind and sought ways to nurture and cultivate my teaching and preaching gifts. It was not long before I became a priest and was faced with an even greater terror than the bolt of lightning that day; this was executing my first mass. With my superiors, fellow priests and family members watching, my hands trembled under the weight of the knowledge of my sinfulness so much so that I spilt what was deemed the very blood of Jesus Christ! How could one as sinful as myself not incur the wrath of God as I held in my hands the very blood and body of Christ?

Although on the outside, as the Professor of Theology at the University of Wittenburg, I could aspire for nothing greater. Yet on the inside I was the lowliest of men. Nothing seen on the outside in my religious world met the deep longings on the inside of my soul. This was only proved substantially when I went to Rome. I was hoping this pilgrimage to the Holy City would somehow provide me with peace. Instead, I witnessed the degradation of my religion where supposed relics of Christ’s life were being sold for years off purgatory for the buyer and family members. The futility of what I was following would stare me in the face as I ascended on my knees, with hundreds of others, the holy staircase that was claimed to be part of Pilate’s house and was miraculously transported from Jerusalem to Rome. As I ascended these holy stairs that had been hollowed by thousands of pilgrims before me, the verse came to my mind “The righteous shall live by his faith”. I bolted upright and thought how can this be when we have been promised 1000 years off purgatory when paying to ascend these steps?  

I ran away from that wretched place ashamed at the depths to which I had sunk. I returned to my post at the University in greater turmoil than when I had left. My religion had failed me. I had failed my religion. I turned myself into extended times of confession, but even this left me empty and in fear, thinking that I had forgotten to confess one of my sins. It was while I was preparing lectures on the Psalms that I discovered the key to the Kingdom that the Church had lost. As I returned to what the Scriptures really meant, I read Psalm 31:1, which read, “Deliver me in your righteousness.” This word “righteousness” kept haunting me. I had always thought of it as the punishment of a holy God towards sinful man. I then reflected on Romans 1:17 that says, “Righteousness is from first to last, by faith.”

Night and day I pondered these words until I grasped the truth that, 

“The righteousness of God is that righteousness whereby, through grace and sheer mercy, He justifies us by faith. Thereupon, I felt myself to be reborn and to have gone through open doors into paradise. The whole Scripture took on a new meaning and whereas before the ‘righteousness’ of God had filled me with hate, now it became to me inexpressibly sweet in greater love. This passage in Paul became to me a gateway to heaven.” 

This truth from the Word of God had eluded me, but not only me, millions of others who had been following false teachings over the last 1500 years. This truth was revolutionary for one who called himself a priest, for my role as a mediator between God and man was no longer necessary. What freedom this truth brought to my soul; to finally know that no amount of indulgences or religious rituals could purchase salvation for man! It was a free gift of God through belief in His Son, Jesus Christ.

I would bask in this revelation, and now, relationship, and for the next four years, share this truth with whomever I could. But the reformation of my heart alone would not be enough, for God had greater plans for my life. With those greater plans, comes greater responsibility and with it, greater prices to pay. This time, the price I would pay was not in exchange for years off purgatory, but the price could possibly be my life. The challenge that came to me again and again would be, “Was I prepared for my life to be a wave crashing onto the ocean’s shores or a pebble sending ripples on the edge of a pond?” 

My "thing" (Part 2)

What decisions we make with the free will God graciously gave us is our part. We have been given the freedom to bend our will in either direction, for good or for evil. Our initial “Yes” to Jesus is bending our will in agreement with the fact we are sinners and we need a Saviour. God’s part is that while we were sinners Christ died for us. We were incapable of living out the wonderful lives God willed for us, so He stepped in and made it possible through the death and resurrection of His Son Jesus Christ. 

Our “Yeses” don’t stop after receiving the life of Jesus in exchange for our sin. This world offers plenty of opportunities for us to say “Yes” or “No” to what it has to offer. God did His part by giving us His grace. 

“It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope – the glorious appearing of our great God and Saviour, Jesus Christ, who gave Himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for Himself a people that are His very own, eager to do what is good” (Titus 2:12-14).

When I was preparing my teaching on the book of Galatians for the School of Biblical Studies in Rwanda, I was struck with the truth that we have been given the freedom NOT to sin. So many believe freedom means doing whatever our flesh feels like doing. But true freedom means NOT doing what our flesh dictates. In other words, we have been given the power not to sin. How many of us are using that power in the way it was originally intended?

My “thing” has been wanting to make a difference in someone’s life. Not a bad desire, but when I step into what is God’s part or the other person’s part then I set myself up for disappointment. As I was grappling with this the Lord led me to two passages, both in Matthew. One describes when Jesus was in Bethany and a guest at Simon the Leper’s house. As Jesus was eating a woman came up to Him and anointed Him with a bottle of very expensive perfume. Aghast, the disciples questioned its use. If it was going to be used, why not sell it and use the money for the poor? Jesus rebuked them, telling them to leave her alone. He explained that she had chosen to use what she possessed to serve a greater purpose, and that was anointing Him in preparation for His burial. He went on to say that this sacrificial act was so significant that wherever the gospel was preached in the whole world, what she had done would also be told in memory of her. Jesus obviously had a very different view of what took place than the disciples did. Her act made a difference to Jesus and ultimately to the world.

The other passage in Matthew that the Lord led me to was when He was describing how, in the end, He will distinguish those who belong to Him and those who don’t. This is the criterion He will use:

I was hungry and you fed me,

I was thirsty and you gave me a drink,

I was homeless and you gave me a room,

I was shivering and you gave me clothes,

I was sick and you stopped to visit,

I was in prison and you came to me.

I was beginning to realize that my part, just like the woman who anointed Jesus, is to be obedient to what He leads me to do. I was also seeing that whatever I do – feeding, giving my time, treasures and talents, giving a bed or my flat to someone who doesn’t have a home, giving my clothes, visiting the sick and prisoners – is doing it for Jesus. My responsibility finishes once I obey. The other person’s responsibility starts after they have a gift extended to them. They choose whether they want to receive what is being offered and have it make a difference in their journey with Jesus. Just as God doesn’t make our choices for us, nor can I for those He’s entrusted to me. 

The woman who anointed Jesus was putting her hope in Him. Because of her willingness to do it for Him, she didn’t walk away disappointed. May I, may we all, use this free will He has given us to make a difference to Jesus! 

My "thing" (Part 1)

I have this “thing” about wanting to make a difference in someone’s life. In this case, we’ll define “thing” as a “matter of concern.” Because of this “thing” I find myself focussing on what only proves to bring me disappointment and heartache. My continuous prayer has been that the Lord would take me to another level of understanding “things” from His perspective. Since He knows that the best way I learn is experientially, He has given me plenty of opportunities, with the decisions some of my spiritual children are making, to take me up on that prayer. It has been challenging for me to distinguish what is my part, God’s part and the other person’s part in any given scenario. Where does my responsibility start and where does it stop? With my natural disposition being very conscientious it makes it that much harder to draw those lines. When I’m not able to draw those lines, I blame myself for not doing enough; believing that if I had done, said or prayed more, it would have made such a difference that they wouldn’t have made such an unwise decision.

The Lord has been unraveling this belief system and revealing the truth of this “thing” I have about wanting to make a difference. I mentioned in previous blogs that I’ve been reading and meditating on the truths in the book by Philip Yancey, “Disappointment with God.” He made a point that I have never considered before. 

“A perfect God now lives inside very imperfect human beings. And because He respects our freedom, the Spirit in effect ‘subjects Himself’ to our behaviour. The New Testament tells of a Spirit we can lie to, or grieve, or quench. And when we choose wrongly, we quite literally subject God to that wrong choice.” 

Wow! This statement shook me. I had not thought about it in this way before; that He subjects Himself to our behaviour. Even God Himself won’t go against a person’s free will, which is the very gift He has given to humankind. In some strange way, He was using this to say to me, “If I can’t make a difference in a person’s life unless he or she wills me to, then how can you?” 

I am seeing more and more just how powerful our will is. Living in Cape Town, God has given me a perfect visual demonstration of this. It wasn’t long after arriving here five years ago that I encountered the strong and persistent “south-easterly” winds. It definitely wasn’t a gentle introduction, but more like a rude, gale force awakening! Experiencing first-hand the incredible force of these winds, I wasn’t surprised to see trees permanently bent over, because of the constant, unrelenting force. This is a good picture of our wills, when they are bent repeatedly toward temptation and sin. The more we say “Yes” to sin, the more our will is being bent in opposition to God’s will and heart for us. Likewise, the more we say “No” to sin, the more our wills are being bent in agreement to God’s will and heart for us. Our wills, like trees, are meant to stand upright in a place of purity and holiness. God won’t force or manipulate our wills. Neither will He plead or beg that any of us say, “Yes” to following His will. He has done His part in demonstrating His extravagant love towards us. His part is finished, complete. Our part is to make a choice with the will He has freely given us either for or against Him. 

To Save One Life (Part 2)

Still crying he returned to his room feeling like something was coming out of his body…

From that day forward Antoine no longer had an appetite for drugs and alcohol. His spiritual appetite grew for God and he saw how God was using his story to help others. Despite this, still in the back of his mind was the loss of his mother and how she would never see how much his life had turned around. He wasn’t sure what to do with the hurts, guilt and sadness that lingered over his mother and the anger he still had towards his father. He felt he couldn’t be angry with God.

His older sister had attended a Discipleship Training School (DTS) with YWAM and encouraged him to do one. Wanting to do things his way, he went to University and got a diploma. Life for Antoine remained unclear and that’s when he decided to do the five-month school (three month lecture phase and two month outreach). This was the beginning of 2011. For the first time he was introduced to teachings on the Nature and Character of God. It was time to face his brokenness and only the Father heart of God could heal his pain. He realized it wasn’t about covering the issues of his heart, but bringing them into the light for the heavenly Father to heal. Antoine received healing in his heart and he knows there will be deeper levels God wants to take him to. 

He is grateful for the doors that God has opened for him to attend a secondary school with YWAM in the UK called the School of Community Development and now the School of Biblical Studies in his home city and nation. I asked him why he wanted to do such a school and he said, “I don’t have or know enough of God. I want to know Him more. I’m thirsty and hungry. I want to be transformed more, changed more. I want more.”

Antoine has truly seen how God saved his life from physical death and spiritual death. He knows that as he continues to pursue God’s heart and ways that God can use him to help save the lives of others. After meeting and listening to Antoine’s story that quote in the Genocide memorial took on a whole new meaning. Yes, it’s true, “Whoever saves one life, saves the world entire.”  

     

To Save One Life (Part 1)

For some reason the quote engraved on the glass panel caught my attention, “Whoever saves one life, saves the world entire.” It seemed ironic to see such a quote when photos of slaughtered genocide victims were plastered all over the surrounding walls. I was in the Genocide memorial in Kigali, Rwanda. This was my second visit to this city and to the memorial. I suppose on this occasion I had more time to read the background and absorb the magnitude of what happened on those streets 20 years previous.

It’s one thing to read about and view the photos of people who experienced such atrocities, and quite another to meet and speak with those who survived them. My friend Laurie and I had been invited to teach at our Youth With A Mission (YWAM) base on the School of Biblical Studies in Kigali. Four students from Rwanda, Burundi and the US were attending this three-month school, along with  

four staff members. Antoine was one of the students from Rwanda. I was curious about his story and how he came to be part of such a school so I asked him to share it with me. 

Antoine was born in Kigali 31 years ago. He was raised with his father and mother, one sister and two brothers. His Dad was addicted to alcohol so his home environment was not pleasant. Because of this, when he was seven or eight years old he would spend a lot of time away from home. Hanging around bad company led to the forming of many bad habits. In 1993, overwhelmed with the situation at home, his Mum left the family with the two youngest children. That was the last time Antoine saw them as they were massacred along with 800,000 other Tutsis during the genocide. He and his sister remained with their father where they lived under the constant fear of being discovered as Tutsis, and killed. Even though at one point people knew they were Tutsis, the genocide ended before anything happened to them. 

Eight years after the genocide was a very hopeless time for Antoine. He spent three and half years on the streets trying to do what he thought would bring him happiness – drugs, alcohol, etc. When he was in high school his aunt took him into her home. Despite this act of kindness he was still “living to die.”

Antoine had heard of Jesus when he was a child. At 19 years of age, he questioned life and its purpose. His prayer at that time, “God, I hope You can change my life. If You can’t, maybe it’s better I die.” Whenever he did attend church he felt guilty and condemned – believing it was impossible to change. He did well at school and his relatives didn’t know that he still had a drug problem. While at boarding school he would go out at night to use drugs and then return to his dorm and sleep. Around 2am, he would wake up to study. On one particular night, upon his return, there was no electricity. Afraid of failing because he couldn’t see to study, he asked God to turn the electricity back on and then found himself saying that if God would change his life, he would serve Him. There was no electricity for a week. Antoine continued his routine of going out at night to use drugs. As he was returning on one evening he met a fellow student who said the electricity had come back on. He remembered his original prayer and started to cry thinking of how meaningless his life was up until this point. A Christian Student Association meeting was going on as he was passing by. He walked in crying and shaking. When they gave the altar call, he went to the front and received Jesus into his life.

Still crying he returned to his room feeling like something was coming out of his body…

Is anyone out there listening to me? (Part 2)

“There is a satisfaction we don’t want to come to until we come to it in God… [Disappointments] serve to remind us every day that we cannot make life work the way we want… If we’ll let it, the disappointment can be God’s way of continually drawing us back to Himself.” (John Eldredge)

Life is full of disappointments, no doubt about it. When ourselves, others or God don’t measure up to our expectations we get disappointed. Like the above quote so aptly says, “Disappointments serve to remind us every day that we cannot make life work the way we want…” I’m re-reading a book I read after a major disappointment seven years ago called “Disappointment with God” by Philip Yancey. I had believed God for something I thought He was giving back to me after years of praying and dying to my original vision. Because it didn’t turn out the way I wanted and hoped for, I was left in despair. Anger at God and other people involved, grief, hurt, betrayal, and hopelessness were all emotions that gripped me. At the time, my cry was, “Is anyone out there listening to me?” All I wanted was for someone to understand my heartache. Perhaps that’s why I bought such a book – in hopes of finding others, to whom I could relate – to know I wasn’t alone in my disappointment. As the author took me through the Bible, I found myself keeping company with the major and minor prophets, kings, judges, people of low and high estate - all of them thoroughly disappointed with God. Life hadn’t turned out, for any of them, what they had expected. For some, it was consequential of their sin, but for others, it was a repercussion of the poor choices of others. I definitely remember reading it from a “me” perspective and found solace knowing I wasn’t the only one disappointed with God. 

Since then I have had huge letdowns that I’ve had to push my heart through. The second half of the above quote says, “…If we’ll let it, the disappointment can be God’s way of continually drawing us back to Himself” and this is what I have found to be true. Another disappointment has recently knocked at my door. Thankfully, I only entertained it for a brief time, not like seven years ago! I recently made a trip to my parents’ home in Canada where I had left the book “Disappointment with God” on my bookshelf. I returned to Cape Town with it thinking I would have it as a resource to help someone on his or her journey. When this recent disappointment came, I looked at the book and sensed God wanted me to read it again. In many ways I believe it’s been God’s way of showing me how far He has brought my heart in these past seven years. Instead of reading it from a “Is anyone out there listening to me?” perspective, I read it from a “Is anyone out there listening to Me?” perspective. I now think it should be retitled, “The disappointment of God!” God has allowed plenty of disappointments to come knocking at my door and because I’m finally cooperating with His purposes and His perspective, I am letting them draw me back to Himself. 

It’s becoming less and less how grieved, hurt, betrayed and disappointed I feel and more and more about how grieved, hurt, betrayed and disappointed God feels. And He does feel. How can we, who have been made in His image feel, if He doesn’t? Our continued misuse and abuse of our spirits, souls and bodies grieves and hurts Him. The more we tune into the cry of His heart, “Is anyone out there listening to Me?” the more, I believe, we will do as the apostle Peter exhorts us to do…      

“So roll up your sleeves, put your mind in gear, be totally ready to receive the gift that’s coming when Jesus arrives. Don’t lazily slip back into those old grooves of evil, doing just what you feel like doing. You didn’t know any better then; you do now. As obedient children, let yourselves be pulled into a way of life shaped by God’s life, a life energetic and blazing with holiness. God said, “I am holy; you be holy.” You call out to God for help and he helps – he’s a good Father that way. But don’t forget, he’s also a responsible Father, and won’t let you get by with sloppy living. Your life is a journey you must travel with a deep consciousness of God…”

Is anyone out there listening to me? (Part 1)

I believe a recurring analogy in the Bible is a father reaching out and longing for a relationship with his children. In the beginning, God the Father created Adam and Eve for the purpose of enjoying a relationship with them. That oneness of relationship was lost when they listened to the first spiritual orphan, Satan, who sowed seeds of doubting God. The Father’s loving and generous character was called into question, and the children chose to turn their hearts away from Him, and leave His house. Although their disobedience broke the Father’s heart, it wasn’t the end. Instead, His relentless pursuit of adoption and redemption began. Thus, we find at the end of the Old Testament His promise to “…turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers…” (Malachi 4:6). Genuine parenting is rooted in the sharing of hearts - relationship. Although that was His original desire, it was not reciprocated. His children stopped listening, so the Father stopped talking, and the period between Malachi and Matthew marked 400 years of God the Father’s silence. 

I’ve been relating more and more with God on this level. The pain and grief of His heart has gripped me on many occasions. Especially when I find out my spiritual children have been committing sexual immorality. I’ve done everything I can to guide them towards the truth of their value, others’ value and God’s value. I preached messages, wrote a book which included chapters such as “The Preciousness of Purity” to help them understand what God says in His Word about this area. Hours have been spent in prayer asking God to open their eyes to see how worthy He is of all their spirit, soul and bodies. I have spent countless hours weeping for, talking to, listening to their hearts, and still choices are made not to listen to the voice of Truth, but rather to the lusts of the flesh. It seems the god of this world has deceived the children of God as much his own? I had started watching a TV series that I found very interesting and engaging. It started out very innocent, but with each successive episode and series, it became more and more suggestive. What shocked me as I watched the final episode was the 17 year-old daughter of the main character telling him that the reason she dumped her boyfriend was because, “He doesn’t believe in sex before marriage.” The father chuckled as if to say, “Who in the 21^st century doesn’t have sex before marriage?” Not having it has become the abnormal now both in non-Christian, and sadly, in Christian settings. 

So I’m identifying with the cry of the Father’s heart, “Is anyone out there listening to me?” We have His Word, and His heart and ways expressed in it regarding everything that pertains to life and godliness. After those 400 years of silence, the appropriate time came for the Father to speak—speak He did! It was not like in the beginning, with the powerful declaration of, “Let there be light.” Rather, He chose to break the long silence in the most quiet, unobtrusive way. His voice became the innocent cries of an infant born to a young, unassuming couple. The message that rang out from a messy manger would demonstrate to the world the Father’s relentless pursuit of His children. We were in a mess and He was the message. This time, He would share His heart, by coming in the flesh through Jesus Christ. Throughout Jesus’ earthly ministry, He would

continually make reference to the truth that He and His Father are one, and if they had seen Him, they had seen the Father. That cry, for the return of His children’s hearts, was heard once again, as Jesus wept over Jerusalem. With deep compassion, He compared Himself to a mother hen longing to gather her brood under her wings. I’m wondering what it’s going to take for us to finally tune into the questions God is asking, and answer them with lives bent on unadulterated love and devotion?

Form or Reality? (Part 3)

“Are you two sisters?” is the question we get no matter where we are in the world. “You two are so opposite” is how anyone who has been in our presence for a few hours would describe us. So how could two friends and missionary colleagues who look so similar yet act so different continue a friendship and working relationship for the past 18 years? My answer, “With a lot of hard work!” 

One of my spiritual sons was sharing at my 50^th Birthday celebration and said that when he got married he thought it was going to be simple. He had no idea it would require so much hard work. He was commenting on the fact that as a spiritual mother to he and his wife I had come alongside to help walk them through challenges they had had in their relationship. I hadn’t been married, but “the nature of the beast” is pretty much the same in all of our relationships – lack of openness and honesty, vulnerability, taking ownership and responsibility for our actions or lack thereof, humility, grace and forgiveness. 

I have a lot of spiritual children (young adults in their 20’s, 30’s) whom I’ve fed at some point during their journeys with Jesus. I’ve made a concerted effort to keep in touch with as many as possible (this is when WhatsApp comes in handy!). Many of them I know would view me as a mentor or discipler, and some have asked me to be that to them. The interesting thing is that unless I do the pursuing, most of them wouldn’t be in contact to share where they are at or be seeking counsel on how to move forward. Even in their crises I will often be the last to find out what’s happening, but when I do, I’m often the first to come to their rescue. I often wonder if these crises could have been avoided if they had chosen to connect more regularly and had openly shared, been accountable, and applied truths from the Word? 

The fact is in friendship, marriage, mentoring (just three I’ve chosen to highlight) we love the form or idea of it, but not the reality or hard work it requires to maintain. There were countless times in my friendship and working relationship with my friend that I wanted to get off the narrow road. To me staying on the narrow road meant me facing the issues of my own heart and I didn’t want to. Proverbs 27:17 in the Amplified Bible reads, “Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend [to show rage or worthy purpose].” That says it all! Whether it’s in a friendship, marriage, or a mentoring relationship we were meant to sharpen each other’s characters, to rub off the rough edges in one another. My friend has definitely done this for me over the past 18 years and I’m sure she would attest to me doing similar in her life. I have counselled many married couples in their young adult years, and because of the sharpening God has done in my life, I have been able to lead them to places where they, thankfully, chose to forgive and be restored. One of my sons whom I counselled a few years ago messaged me recently, after he watched the movie “Fireproof,” to thank me for getting him to the place of wanting to forgive and be restored with his wife. I also find that when I do connect with those I am helping on their journeys with Jesus, they are sharpening me as much as I hope I am sharpening them.

Whether we are involved in friendships, marriages or mentoring relationships our form or idea are often not the same as the other person’s. Reality kicks in fairly soon in an ongoing relationship and the distance between our form or idea and our reality is our disappointment. When we stay living with disappointment we lose heart and want to find greener pastures. That will only serve to repeat the process with someone else. Staying on that narrow road, letting go of our forms and ideas, facing our realities and working through our disappointments is the more challenging option, but the most fulfilling nonetheless.   

Form or Reality? (Part 2)

Trust me, once we’re on the narrow road we will be rubbing shoulders with all kinds of people. Jesus’ intention is to use them to rub the rough edges off of us; to expose the Pharisaical spirit in us; to show us that there really is a difference between form and reality. 

For example, form sees us enjoying the idea of friendship, marriage, or mentoring. Friendship for us may mean someone to hang out with, someone to share what’s happening in our lives. Marriage may mean a more consistent someone to hang out with, and enjoying other pleasures. Mentoring may mean being able to put on our resume that we have someone we know who is interested in our well-being.

Too many of us think this is the level to which we were called. But what happens when reality kicks in and our friends do something that challenges our ability to trust them? What happens when our spouse continues to comment on our irritating habits? What happens when our mentor starts to ask the hard questions and keeps us accountable for things we said we wanted to grow and mature in?

This is when form and reality are seen for how contrary they are. Form will not want to pursue reconciliation, restoration, forgiveness, humility, and accountability in any of these relationships. Reality does. In order for the reality of our relationship with Jesus Christ to be demonstrated to others, we must “…deny ourselves and take up our cross daily, and follow Him.” “Daily” is the operative word. How many of us are willing to work at a relationship on a daily basis? To talk and work through differences, discrepancies, disappointments? Looking at some of the statistics out there, not many. It’s far too easy to say that because the form isn’t working or isn’t what I was expecting, I’m justified in joining those walking on the wide road. It makes me wonder if we were on the narrow road to begin with? Reality calls for commitment, faithfulness, obedience and responsibility; that “Until death do us part” kind of attitude and action. 

The amazing truth is that even if we start with a form of a relationship with Jesus Christ, and with others, we can move into the reality of a relationship. This is possible when we are honest enough with ourselves to admit that form isn’t enough, and we’re willing to face the reality that we have been following what has no substance. Even confessing that we have been selfish in the way we have viewed our relationship with Jesus and others. We start being real and honest with God, with others, and ourselves and no longer speak words we don’t follow through with, but follow through with our words and intentions. It is committing, by God’s strength and enabling, to place our trust in the reality of His presence. 

It’s like the challenge Joshua put out to the Israelites before his death, “…fear the Lord, serve Him in sincerity and truth, and put away the gods which your fathers served …serve the Lord! And if it seems evil to you to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve…but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” (Joshua 24:14-15). 

Who are we going to serve? The form or reality of Jesus Christ?

Form or Reality? (Part 1)

This is a recurring question that has been going through my mind for several months now. I’ve been wondering if many of us have actually settled for a “form” of Jesus and not the “reality” of Him? When I read through the gospels this seems to be a concealed question Jesus had upon encountering people. Why else would He say on so many occasions, “If anyone desires to come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily, and follow Me”? He knew that it was all too easy to follow a form of Him and not the reality of Him. So He painted a picture of what it meant to follow the reality of Him and then waited to see who would opt for the narrow road.

The rich young ruler, the Pharisees, even Jesus’ very own disciples were questioned as to their level of devotion to the person of Jesus Christ. Many were willing to follow a form, a concept, an idea, a principle, even a good cause, but very few actually followed the reality of the person of Jesus Christ. Those like the rich young ruler found out soon enough that form wasn’t going to cut it with Jesus, and because he wasn’t willing to deny himself, he didn’t even get on the narrow road. The Pharisees seemed not to be able to discern the difference between form and reality, and to the letter, devoted themselves to following principles and a good cause. These were the very roots Jesus was exposing in them and wanted to pull out and burn. They were blinded by their own self-righteousness and really did believe they were on the narrow road even to the very end. Jesus’ fan club began to disperse once He wasn’t willing to serve their idea of what the Messiah should do. Even those seemingly close disciples backed away once the heat of following Him started intensifying. Only a few faithful followers remained on the narrow road. 

I don’t believe we’re all that different. We have our idea or form of God that we’re willing to follow and most of us do it very dutifully. The problem is Jesus didn’t invite us to come and follow our idea of Him or His cause, but rather, Him! That means the reality of who He is. That means wherever the Father leads Him, we follow. That means His character, not ours, radiating through us. That means denying ourselves, taking up our cross daily, and following Him.

I believe most of us are asking ourselves the wrong question. If we are asking, “What I am doing with what I’ve been given?” then that will automatically lead us to following a form – the principles, our idea of God, the cause of Christ. However, if we ask ourselves, “What I am doing with Who I’ve been given?” then this will lead us to following the reality - the person of Jesus Christ. This will lead me away from being in love with my idea or form of God and being in love and devoted to the person of Jesus Christ.

Perhaps this is as good a time as any to ask yourself, “What am I doing with WHO I’ve been given?”