Ignorance is NOT bliss! (Part 1)

I was recently invited to join a small team of Youth With A Mission (YWAM) staff to speed read through the entire Bible with the purpose of looking for verses that highlighted the sphere of “government.” We were tasked to do this in 6 days from 8am to 8pm. Although I love the Word of God, I must confess, I didn’t jump at this opportunity. I suppose I thought it was beyond my capacity to sit that long concentrating on one thing. I told them I would pray about it. I did and made the decision to join, seeing this as a challenge that my spirit was more prepared to do than my flesh. I found out the reason why we had been invited to do this exercise. It was because one of our YWAM leaders was formulating a digital Bible (called the Sphereview Bible) that would be highlighting each of the spheres of society (i.e., government, church, media, arts, family, education, economics). When I shared this with Kwanda, my Zulu daughter, she candidly replied, “You’ll be part of making history.” Wow! I hadn’t thought of it that way. By the end of the first day, I was hooked. The Spirit of God has a way of drawing you into the Word and once you’re in, you don’t want to get out. What made the time even more amazing was sitting at the feet of this YWAM leader, who is a Bible scholar. From time to time he would pause and explain to us the deep, inner meaning of some of the passages. One would think that after being a follower of Jesus for 42 years I would understand the Word, but it was like I was being taught the Bible for the first time.

Let me give you one example to whet your appetite. There is a passage in Deuteronomy 17:14-21 where those in authority (kings in this case) are warned against multiplying horses, wives and silver and gold. God knew that with the multiplication of such it would lead them into a lifestyle of authoritarianism, hedonism and materialism. Now I’ve read through the Bible many times and when I came to that passage I even underlined the word “multiply” wanting to remind myself of God’s ability to do just that. Obviously, I didn’t linger long enough in that passage, because I totally missed the list of things that kings were NOT meant to multiply. Let’s fast forward to 1 Kings 10 where it describes the Queen of Sheba’s encounter with King Solomon. Guess what Solomon had amassed during his reign? You’ve got it – horses, wives and silver and gold.

Yes, at the beginning of his reign God appeared to Solomon in a dream and told him to ask for whatever he desired. Solomon asked for wisdom. This request pleased the Lord and he was given this and was told that he would be given what he hadn’t asked for – riches and honour. God was true to His Word to Solomon, but it seems Solomon wanted even more than what God was blessing him with and began to exact excessive taxes from the people. It’s also interesting to note that he spent 6 years building the Temple of God and 14 years building his own palace! So, a pagan queen commends him for what he has multiplied, but God condemns him for his disobedience. We read in the Deuteronomy 17 passage that the king was to write for himself a copy of the law about NOT multiplying horses, wives and silver and gold. He was to keep it with him and he was to read it all the days of his life so that he would learn to fear the Lord his God. This was also so that his heart would not be lifted above his brethren.  Solomon had been placed in authority over God’s people to exemplify God’s righteous value system of servanthood, purity and generosity. He had veered away from God’s commands.

Let’s fast forward to present day. Here we are reading these familiar stories taking from them what suits us, or others, and even praying that we, or our leaders, will be like Solomon. We are taking the words we read at face value without searching beneath the surface to find out the whole counsel of God. Because we are looking at the Word very individualistically and not within the context of the whole of Scripture, we are often living and praying amiss. I have done this countless times.

That’s why I say, ignorance is NOT bliss! (more on that in the next blog)

So, what's missing? (Part 2)

Integrity… That is what was missing from my heart as I flipped between “Whatsapp” messages and my Bible study. I carried on like this for ages. Sometimes I would sense the prodding of the Holy Spirit telling me not to turn my phone on until after I had met with Him, but I would justify and reason away my selfish behaviour by thinking what if my kids needed me and couldn’t get in touch because my phone was off? To me, I was being selfless. I kept ignoring those promptings and carried on with business as usual. In keeping with the Holy Spirit’s character, He didn’t scream at me to get my attention. Rather, He used a series of “dramas” in my children’s lives to reveal to me my own lack of integrity.

“You kids don’t listen to me” was a phrase I would say to them often after giving them what I believed was godly, wise advice and still finding many of them getting distracted by the cares, riches and pleasures of life. I went into the time of prayer and fasting, was faithful to not turn my phone on first thing in the morning and started listening to “Clear the Stage” by Jimmy Needham over and over.

“Clear the stage and set the sound and lights ablaze, if that’s the measure you must take to crush the idols… Tell your friends that this is where the party ends until you’re broken for your sins, you can’t be social… Take a break from all the plans that you have made and sit at home alone and wait for God to whisper. Beg Him please to open up His mouth and speak and pray for real upon your knees until they blister. Shine the light on every corner of your life until the pride and lust and lies are in the open. Then read the Word and put to test the things you’ve heard until your heart and soul are stirred and rocked and broken… We must not worship something that’s not even worth it. Clear the stage; make some space for the One who deserves it… Any thing I put before my God is an idol. Any thing I want with all my heart is an idol. Any thing I can’t stop thinking of is an idol. Any thing that I give all my love is an idol.”

As I really let those words sink into my spirit, without any distractions, I was cut to the heart. The finger was pointing right back at me. The Holy Spirit was showing me that I was being just as rude to Him as others had been to me when messaging someone who wasn’t there, while I was present. He also revealed to me that I had been so challenged when my children didn’t seem to be listening to me and putting my advice into practice, and I wasn’t even listening and obeying my Father’s advice and promptings. It all came back to my disobedient, selfish, sinful heart. Without even realizing it, I had made my interactions with them, using this form of social media, an idol. They had become my first priority, my first thought, and my first concern. My words to them and their words to me were what I looked forward to, forgetting that our words are so temporary - so here today and gone tomorrow. Only the Word of God will never pass away and will endure throughout. My pride, lust and lies had been exposed and I repented of my lack of integrity. I hadn’t been walking the talk; nor was I consistent in both attitude and actions; nor did I finish what I had started years ago; nor was I walking in the fear of the Lord; nor was I “being” with the Lord and then finding myself ready for “doing” what He had told me. I had slipped into compromise.

It was time to “Clear the Stage” of what wasn’t a priority and could be attended to at a later time (delayed gratification). It was time to sit undistracted and wait for God to whisper and truly be “with” Him. And whisper He has with fresh insights and revelation from His Word and the amazing thing is that the time I used to spend messaging my children I am now praying for them. So I’m not missing out at all. In fact, praying God’s Word over them is accomplishing a lot more than my words ever will. I’ll be honest sometimes I wake up and am tempted to turn my phone on, but once I get into God’s presence I actually don’t want to turn it on. Wild, hey?!? With the Holy Spirit’s help, and my cooperation, I want to continue in this reformed way after the fast is finished.

David in his prayer of repentance in Psalm 51:6 says, “Behold, You desire truth in the inward parts, and in the hidden part You will make me know wisdom.” My version of that would be, “Holy Spirit, I give You permission to not let me get away with what I have been letting myself get away with.” For me, that is a prayer for integrity.    

So, what's missing?

Well, as someone who has lived for half a century now, I would have to say “integrity” is missing. I often wonder if any of us actually know what that word means. For me, it means walking what I talk. It means consistency in both my attitudes and actions. It means finishing what I started. It means humility. It means walking in the fear of the Lord and not man. It means after “being” with the Lord, I then am ready for “doing” what He told me.

Let me give you an example fresh from the past couple of weeks. My church each New Year has a 21-day prayer and Daniel fast where we are encouraged to seek God for His heart and purposes. I am on a strict low-fat diet so fasting food wasn’t going to be a big sacrifice to me. I had to ask myself what was something I had become attached to that would be a sacrifice to give up. The Holy Spirit directed me to my phone. Here’s some background on my phone. I resisted upgrading to a smartphone for four years, and then when told it would help me stay in touch with my spiritual children, I relented. My reason for resisting in the first place was because I saw how addicting they were to the younger generation and even some of the older. People would be out with friends, and instead of being present “with” the person they were physically sitting “with,” they would be “with” someone over social media who wasn’t even there. I found it rude, selfish and very distracting. So, for the most part, I managed to be present in the moment by not having a smartphone and seemed the better for it. Then the day came when my friend convinced me this was the greatest thing since sliced bread, and that I was living in the days of the dinosaurs by not having one. Once I agreed to get one, she told me all the apps I needed to download. All the while I’m asking, “What’s that?” and “How does it work?” All very mind-boggling for someone who loves paper! She said it would make my life easier. Well, once I got the hang of it, in some ways it did, and in some ways it made it more complicated. I wouldn’t go so far as to say all technology is evil and therefore should be banned from a Christian’s life. I would say, however, that anything we use or think about above, and outside God’s healthy and loving boundaries, can soon become an idol. Meaning they begin to control us, rather than us controlling them. I’m a spiritual mother to a lot of African young adults. Because I don’t get to see many of them on a regular basis, I was using “WhatsApp” to send them encouragements, find out how they were doing, make arrangements for meeting with them, etc. They would often do likewise mostly in the form of questions, advice, prayer requests, emergencies, etc. My daily routine would be when I woke up I would turn my phone on and read the messages that had come through after I had turned my phone off the previous night or I would send messages as I knew they would likely be online. I would also check my emails and respond to the ones I thought urgent. Because I work from home I didn’t need to be somewhere at a certain time so would make my breakfast and have my time with the Lord in His Word. That’s when the responses to my “Whatsapp” messages would begin to come in and I would flip between answering those and reading the Word, never fully focusing or concentrating on either.

So, what’s missing? More of that in Part 2. Now over to one of my spiritual daughters, Elle.

Barbara Killinger defines integrity as: a personal choice, an uncompromising and predictably consistent commitment to honour moral, ethical, spiritual and artistic values and principles. I’d like to add to that. I believe integrity is all of the above, but when it really counts, when I believe someone really shows integrity, is when they are uncompromising when no one is looking.

I think it’s easy to have integrity in public. It’s easy to be moral and upright in church, because you’re surrounded by people who (in most cases) are like-minded, have the same values and expect a certain type of behaviour. There are people holding you accountable.

I have also found it relatively easy to show integrity in my work environment, and it was easy, because I let everyone know very early on that I was a Christian. It hasn’t always been this way. In my first job, I didn’t tell anyone that I was a Christian and I found myself compromising because I wanted to fit in. It got to the point where, if I did tell people I was a Christian, they probably wouldn’t have believed me, because my behaviour (I worked in an office where everyone swore and I subsequently started swearing too), didn’t show it. I decided to do it differently going forward. When I started my current job, I let everyone know early on that I was a Christian – this was my way of making myself accountable. It became easy to have integrity because I had to back up what I had said about myself (that I was a Christian) and I found that my colleagues respected what I believed in, and would as much as they could, avoid putting me in situations where I had to compromise.

So for me – integrity, when I’m around people is pretty straightforward and pretty easy. But what happens when you’re on your own? When you’re in an environment where no one knows you’re a Christian? When the teller at the supermarket gives you too much change? When no one will find out the truth if you tell a white lie? It’s those times that I believe real integrity shows, because there is no one watching you, and you (and God), will be the only people who know how you choose to behave.

My biggest challenge and my biggest learning, when it comes to integrity, is being a person of integrity when I am alone at home when no one is watching me. It’s learning to have integrity when there is no one to hold me accountable. It’s doing the right, honest and good thing even when it’s the harder road to take, and it’s taking that road knowing that it is a road I take, whether or not someone is watching. 

No more small talk

“If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart.”  ~ Nelson Mandela                                                            

This is such an appropriate time for remembering a “history maker,” a “world changer,” a “freedom fighter,” a “minister of reconciliation.” What moves the world to remember such a man whom most never met? I believe it is because he communicated both in word and action that all people are to be valued. This special regard for people resounded throughout the numerous newspaper interviews I read from prison guards to bodyguards. It may have been as simple as acknowledging their Birthday or making sure his employees were served the same meals as himself – no favouritism or elitism allowed. From prisoner to President his love for people remained consistent. From dignitaries to the derelict, he showed no differences. Nelson Mandela had indeed learned to talk to a man in his language that penetrated his heart.

As I ponder this quality and legacy, I wonder if the same would be said of me? I say I’m here to serve this younger generation, but am I consistently talking to them in a language that goes to their hearts or to their heads? To be honest, I constantly ask myself if I am reaching their hearts. And if I’m not, I pray “Lord, help me to know how to communicate with them in their language.” Perhaps I am when I sit outside the Jameson Hall at the University of Cape Town waiting for one of my spiritual daughters, Cheryl, to exit as a graduate after a long, hard climb… I wonder if I’m talking to her in a language that is touching her heart? I can only hope so. I quote myself from my book "The Treasure Within", "Genuine parenting is rooted in the sharing of hearts - relationship." I realize more and more that the invitation for my spiritual children to share their hearts comes when I demonstrate that I care about their lives, and not just care, but consider their opinions and ideas. They need to know that they won't be quickly shut down or judged when they share something that they think won't meet with my approval. Have I offered them a platform for dialogue and discussion? Is it a case of together discovering the answers to their questions from the Word of God? I know I am on a similar journey that requires me to be just as open and vulnerable as I would like them to be with me. My own transparent communication reveals that I, too, haven't got life all figured out and I am still "working out my salvation with fear and trembling." In other words, I haven't arrived and am still very much in a process of new discoveries and working at applying truth and wisdom. I didn't start this way, rather quite the opposite. I would encourage them to share their hearts while withholding mine thinking I would lose respect in their eyes if they knew past and present processes and challenges. Only later did I discover that as much as I had greater respect for leaders who were open and vulnerable, the same held true for my children respecting me more as I allowed myself to be real with them. Now I endeavour, albeit not perfectly, to present to them a "reality" of walking and working out a relationship with Jesus and not a religious "form" that will ultimately suck life and genuine love from them. Is this how I can speak to them in their language that goes to their hearts? I can only hope so. 

by Kathy (Mentor)

How can one reach for what they cannot see? How can you aspire to what you have not known is out there beyond what you have lived your whole life seeing? Or harder still, what you do not realize is on the inside of you? How can you see above the fog that blankets your worldview unless you are standing on the shoulders of a giant?

Giants come to us in many forms. Parents, school teachers, pastors; the great leaders who stand before us modelling for us life beyond our immediate reality, alluding to better. These are the ones who are acquainted with the outcome. They teach us right from wrong and fulfill their mandate to paint the picture and pave the way to the destinies that befit the potential they seek to see lived out of us. However, the path from the "now" to our destiny is achieved by putting one foot in front of the other - one step at a time. Each rung of the ladder dealing with our characters, our life scripting and every one of the toxic false ideologies we may have adopted staying behind on the last step. One of the problems in our society lies in the deficiency of truth. Our leaders are on pedestals and soapboxes and generally seem to believe the best way to reach us is to lose their humanity. We have fuelled this notion because we feel we cannot afford to follow the flawed individual when we are trying to abandon our own flaws. But the truth is nobody can relate to a perfect person. It speaks to a distant reality and, having lived through the gruelling process of the attempt to change, one that is unattainable. 

Enter, my personal favourite brand of giant: The mentor. My experience with my mentor, Mama Kathy, differs from the conventional leader in that her involvement lies, not in the end goal, but in the process of taking the little steps in between. The intensity of this kind of interaction forces us into a place of truthfulness because charades and masks fall apart over time and exposure. This is a space of authenticity. A space where the truth of my mentor's daily walk to her greater purpose and her daily victories are so apparent that I cannot keep writing it off as unachievable. Walking with someone transforms the way you speak to them. You speak to the reality of them as you see it as opposed to generically pointing them towards something without any real understanding of what they need in the moment. For me, that is the kind of influence that has moved my heart the most. By bringing herself down to my level and meeting me where I am, Mama Kathy has learned to see the world through my eyes and to address the battles I face as if they were hers, but with greater wisdom; and to celebrate my victories the same way, but with greater understanding of the significance of each of my milestones. 

by Cheryl (Mentoree)

Who is the third who walks beside you?
When I count there are only you and I
together
But when I look up the white road
There is always another one walking
beside you
Gliding wrapt in a brown mantle, hooded
I do not know whether man or woman
- But who is that on the other side of you?

The Waste Land ~ TS Elliot