I
joined Youth With A Mission (YWAM) as a full-time volunteer staff member in
1996. One of the schools we offer to anyone who wants “To know God and make Him
known,” which is YWAM’s motto, is a five to six-month Discipleship Training
School (DTS). I did my DTS in Scotland in 1992, where I encountered God in a
way that immersed me into a relationship with Him that I hadn’t known since
receiving Jesus into my life 21 years previous. God would use the teachings I
was receiving to expose areas of my heart that weren’t aligned to His nature
and character. I was to discover that the root of my misdemeanours was pride.
Now, a lot of us who have received Jesus as our Saviour would rightfully say it
took humility and brokenness over our sin in order for us to come to know Him
in the first place. Yes it did, but this should not be the only time we humble
ourselves. In fact, I believe brokenness should be a lifestyle. Our spirits
have been saved, but our souls (mind, will and emotions) are being saved.
I
staffed my first DTS in 1996 in Colorado Springs, CO. I well remember a young
man on staff, I’ll call Mark, who would regularly confess in front of the staff
members, and at times the school, those areas where he had fallen short of the
glory of God, both in word and deed. The first few times caught people’s
attention, but when this became a regular occurrence, people would jokingly say
something like, “Mark, what are you going to confess today?!?” His brokenness
became the abnormal and the despised, while our lack of brokenness became the
norm and the accepted. Why would the attribute and attitude of this young man
be etched on my mind 18 years later if it weren’t something that I admired in him?
With weeklong teachings on “Openness and Brokenness” and other discipleship
topics, as DTS staff or leader I, too, would find myself in an attitude of
brokenness before the staff and students. Since those years, God has had me in
seasons of brokenness where He shuts down ministry and activity that have the
potential of keeping me from seeing the pride that still lurks in my heart. As
painful as it is to be unraveled before a Holy God, I am so grateful that He
loves me enough not to allow me to remain where I am in my heart.
I
cannot ignore verses like, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the
humble” (James 4:6) and “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken
and contrite heart, O God, You will not despise” (Psalm 51:17). As far as I can
see in the Bible, brokenness is to be the norm rather than the abnormal. It is
an attribute and attitude that is admired and acceptable to God.
If
you’re wondering if you’re broken or not, perhaps the following “Signs of Brokenness” will help lead you in
the right direction:
§ All rights surrendered
§ Willing to be out of control
§ Are overwhelmed with the sense
of your own spiritual need
§ Are compassionate and forgiving
§ Esteem others better than
yourself
§ Have a dependent spirit;
recognize your need for others
§ Are willing to yield the right
to be right
§ Willing to be misunderstood
§ Willing to love and serve others
at your own expense
§ Accept personal responsibility
and admit when you are wrong
§ Receive criticism with a humble
and open spirit
§ Are concerned about being real –
what matters is not what others think, but what God knows – willing to die to
your reputation
§ Willing to be open, transparent
and vulnerable with God and others as He directs
§ Are grieved over the root of
your sin
§ Walk in the light
§ Have a continual attitude of
brokenness and repentance
§ Express your need for the Holy
Spirit
§ Are ready to build up and affirm
others
§ Obey God out of love and delight
and not out of obligation or duty
§ Don’t perform for God, but are
actively letting Christ manifest His life through you
§ Willing to fail, be weak and
rejected by man
§ Trusting in God’s sovereign plan
for your life and resting in the details of how it will unfold
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