Is anyone out there listening to me? (Part 1)

I believe a recurring analogy in the Bible is a father reaching out and longing for a relationship with his children. In the beginning, God the Father created Adam and Eve for the purpose of enjoying a relationship with them. That oneness of relationship was lost when they listened to the first spiritual orphan, Satan, who sowed seeds of doubting God. The Father’s loving and generous character was called into question, and the children chose to turn their hearts away from Him, and leave His house. Although their disobedience broke the Father’s heart, it wasn’t the end. Instead, His relentless pursuit of adoption and redemption began. Thus, we find at the end of the Old Testament His promise to “…turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers…” (Malachi 4:6). Genuine parenting is rooted in the sharing of hearts - relationship. Although that was His original desire, it was not reciprocated. His children stopped listening, so the Father stopped talking, and the period between Malachi and Matthew marked 400 years of God the Father’s silence. 

I’ve been relating more and more with God on this level. The pain and grief of His heart has gripped me on many occasions. Especially when I find out my spiritual children have been committing sexual immorality. I’ve done everything I can to guide them towards the truth of their value, others’ value and God’s value. I preached messages, wrote a book which included chapters such as “The Preciousness of Purity” to help them understand what God says in His Word about this area. Hours have been spent in prayer asking God to open their eyes to see how worthy He is of all their spirit, soul and bodies. I have spent countless hours weeping for, talking to, listening to their hearts, and still choices are made not to listen to the voice of Truth, but rather to the lusts of the flesh. It seems the god of this world has deceived the children of God as much his own? I had started watching a TV series that I found very interesting and engaging. It started out very innocent, but with each successive episode and series, it became more and more suggestive. What shocked me as I watched the final episode was the 17 year-old daughter of the main character telling him that the reason she dumped her boyfriend was because, “He doesn’t believe in sex before marriage.” The father chuckled as if to say, “Who in the 21^st century doesn’t have sex before marriage?” Not having it has become the abnormal now both in non-Christian, and sadly, in Christian settings. 

So I’m identifying with the cry of the Father’s heart, “Is anyone out there listening to me?” We have His Word, and His heart and ways expressed in it regarding everything that pertains to life and godliness. After those 400 years of silence, the appropriate time came for the Father to speak—speak He did! It was not like in the beginning, with the powerful declaration of, “Let there be light.” Rather, He chose to break the long silence in the most quiet, unobtrusive way. His voice became the innocent cries of an infant born to a young, unassuming couple. The message that rang out from a messy manger would demonstrate to the world the Father’s relentless pursuit of His children. We were in a mess and He was the message. This time, He would share His heart, by coming in the flesh through Jesus Christ. Throughout Jesus’ earthly ministry, He would

continually make reference to the truth that He and His Father are one, and if they had seen Him, they had seen the Father. That cry, for the return of His children’s hearts, was heard once again, as Jesus wept over Jerusalem. With deep compassion, He compared Himself to a mother hen longing to gather her brood under her wings. I’m wondering what it’s going to take for us to finally tune into the questions God is asking, and answer them with lives bent on unadulterated love and devotion?

Form or Reality? (Part 3)

“Are you two sisters?” is the question we get no matter where we are in the world. “You two are so opposite” is how anyone who has been in our presence for a few hours would describe us. So how could two friends and missionary colleagues who look so similar yet act so different continue a friendship and working relationship for the past 18 years? My answer, “With a lot of hard work!” 

One of my spiritual sons was sharing at my 50^th Birthday celebration and said that when he got married he thought it was going to be simple. He had no idea it would require so much hard work. He was commenting on the fact that as a spiritual mother to he and his wife I had come alongside to help walk them through challenges they had had in their relationship. I hadn’t been married, but “the nature of the beast” is pretty much the same in all of our relationships – lack of openness and honesty, vulnerability, taking ownership and responsibility for our actions or lack thereof, humility, grace and forgiveness. 

I have a lot of spiritual children (young adults in their 20’s, 30’s) whom I’ve fed at some point during their journeys with Jesus. I’ve made a concerted effort to keep in touch with as many as possible (this is when WhatsApp comes in handy!). Many of them I know would view me as a mentor or discipler, and some have asked me to be that to them. The interesting thing is that unless I do the pursuing, most of them wouldn’t be in contact to share where they are at or be seeking counsel on how to move forward. Even in their crises I will often be the last to find out what’s happening, but when I do, I’m often the first to come to their rescue. I often wonder if these crises could have been avoided if they had chosen to connect more regularly and had openly shared, been accountable, and applied truths from the Word? 

The fact is in friendship, marriage, mentoring (just three I’ve chosen to highlight) we love the form or idea of it, but not the reality or hard work it requires to maintain. There were countless times in my friendship and working relationship with my friend that I wanted to get off the narrow road. To me staying on the narrow road meant me facing the issues of my own heart and I didn’t want to. Proverbs 27:17 in the Amplified Bible reads, “Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend [to show rage or worthy purpose].” That says it all! Whether it’s in a friendship, marriage, or a mentoring relationship we were meant to sharpen each other’s characters, to rub off the rough edges in one another. My friend has definitely done this for me over the past 18 years and I’m sure she would attest to me doing similar in her life. I have counselled many married couples in their young adult years, and because of the sharpening God has done in my life, I have been able to lead them to places where they, thankfully, chose to forgive and be restored. One of my sons whom I counselled a few years ago messaged me recently, after he watched the movie “Fireproof,” to thank me for getting him to the place of wanting to forgive and be restored with his wife. I also find that when I do connect with those I am helping on their journeys with Jesus, they are sharpening me as much as I hope I am sharpening them.

Whether we are involved in friendships, marriages or mentoring relationships our form or idea are often not the same as the other person’s. Reality kicks in fairly soon in an ongoing relationship and the distance between our form or idea and our reality is our disappointment. When we stay living with disappointment we lose heart and want to find greener pastures. That will only serve to repeat the process with someone else. Staying on that narrow road, letting go of our forms and ideas, facing our realities and working through our disappointments is the more challenging option, but the most fulfilling nonetheless.