“I don’t understand,” one of the young ladies I disciple commented as I shared with her what I believe God spoke to me many years ago that had not yet been fulfilled. She went on to ask, “Why would God tell you something and then make you wait? I’d rather He didn’t say anything and then I wouldn’t know that I’m waiting.”
It wasn’t as if that thought hadn’t crossed my mind at one point in time, but in all my years of waiting for the fulfillment of promises I was beginning to understand that He is after far more than results. For God, the building and establishing of relationships far outweigh results. He isn’t a result-driven God, but solely relationship-driven. And not only the relationship between Himself and His children, but His children learning to relate to others and to ourselves.
The word “waiting” comes from the same Latin root, ‘pate’ that “passive and passion” come from which means “to endure.” Waiting is both passive and passionate – a vibrant and contemplative work. It’s the time when light shines into our hearts exposing wounds, issues of our hearts – when we discover who we are and who we aren’t meant to be. It’s an opportunity for us to discover more fully who God is and who we are in Him.
I was around 17 years old when God spoke to me that I would be a missionary while watching a movie about a missionary doctor in the Belgian Congo. In no time I got involved in short-term summer mission trips that confirmed this assignment. After completing four years of University I was sure I was ready to head on out and change the world. Little did I know that God would take me through a painful journey of changing me (Note: the journey of change won’t stop until we see our Lord face to face) before He ever released me to change the world! Sixteen years after receiving the missionary call, I became a full-time volunteer staff member of my mission organization. Any regrets for having to wait so long? No, just thankfulness for Abba’s Sovereign oversight. I suppose that is hindsight speaking but I definitely see that I wasn’t ready when I thought I was.
My thoughts go to Abraham and the promise God gave to him and Sarah that they would have a son and through that son a nation would be born and blessed to be a blessing; hard to believe when their childbearing years were in the distant past. Ten years later, in Genesis 15, the word of the Lord came to Abram saying, “Do not be afraid, Abram. I am your shield, your exceedingly great reward.” When I read this I was reminded of another meaning of the word “wait.” It means to bind together; to twist together like a chord; to become one. It’s in our waiting that we become one with God and He becomes our “exceedingly great reward.”
Undoubtedly, there is a process of getting there that isn’t pleasant at the time. It’s the struggle of living between the now and the not yet; the cross and the resurrection. Or as Selwyn Hughes said, “I’m still learning to live in time and eternity simultaneously.” Therein lie the tension and the struggle - in the waiting. Will we continue to hold on to our faith in God? Even to the point of having the faith of God! Will we trust Him where we cannot see Him? Can He trust us to put our hand to the plough and not look back? Will we faithfully represent Him and His character in the midst of the silence? Will we allow Him to become our “exceedingly great reward” over and above the object of our waiting? All questions that are worthy of being asked and answered – by you, by me.
“Let the darkness of delay discipline your soul in the patience of the saints, in the promises of God, who will not suffer His faithfulness to fail, in the presence of the Saviour by His Spirit, in the provision of needed grace from nail-scarred hands.” V. R. Edman
