So it’s my Birthday today and I’ve been thinking – not unusual for me! Interacting with hundreds of University students, many of whom I’m discipling and mentoring in leadership, I like to ask them “What is the best teacher?” The majority will respond, “Experience.” I would have said the same before being exposed to the leadership teachings of John Maxwell. His take on it is that the best teacher is evaluated experience. Reflective thinking is essential to turning experience into insight. Evaluated experience helps us to know what to continue doing and what not to do. I’m a firm believer in reflective thinking. I’m tending to do more of it in my latter years seeing that I don’t have the time or energy to not learn from my experiences and turn them into insight that will help guide me the remainder of my years. Way too old to be haphazard and unintentional!
I’ve heard it said that life is lived forward but understood backwards which makes me ask myself, “Do I have regrets? And if so, how can I ensure that I rectify those and don’t continue living that way?” If we asked the more elderly amongst us we would hear them express sadness, or disappointment over something that has happened or been done particularly in areas of loss or missed opportunity. We would probably hear many of them say, “I wish I hadn’t spent so much of my life worrying. I wish I had forgiven more. I wish I had cared less about what other people think. I wish I had lived up to my full potential. I wish I had faced my fears. I wish I’d stopped chasing wrong things. I wish I’d lived more in the moment. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard. I wish I'd let myself be happier. I wish I'd had the courage to be true to myself and not what people expected of me…”
Is it possible to live a life that is regret-free? As a person devoted to Jesus Christ, who definitely left this earth leaving behind no regrets, yes, I believe it’s possible. Jesus lived regret-free because His mission was to hear what the Father said and do it. It’s also possible for us when we take seriously our relationship with Jesus by making the Word a priority in our lives, and not just reading it, but obeying it. Living regret-free means being faithful to the person of Jesus Christ. It is realizing that He knows us better than we know ourselves so we trust Him. It means submitting to His will and His ways.
Living regret-free doesn’t mean living perfectly, but making imperfect progress. Here are some ways that I’ve been learning to live regret-free, albeit making imperfect progress.
Love and give unconditionally. Keep short accounts in relationships. Confess more. Be known. Be real. Ask for the gift of tears – a repentant heart. Don’t make assumptions (the lowest level of knowledge) that you know something or someone. Listen well. Show and tell that you care. Don’t finish a day without thanking, encouraging and blessing someone. Find out what you were called to, and made for, and do it. Take time with your heart – listening to it, guarding it above all else. Leave a legacy – ask yourself what and whom you are leaving behind. Push the pause button and evaluate so as not to do the same thing the same way expecting a different result. Be willing to change and readjust. Don’t get stuck in a rut – try new things and see from new perspectives. Honour, respect, value and serve others. Laugh at yourself. Encounter nature – hike - take walks – sit on rocks – lie on the grass – stare at the ocean and mountains. Look after your earth suit. Stop to ask someone’s name and the meaning of it. Live up to your potential. Know that there is always more. Do it afraid. Think about yourself less and pray for others more. Don’t stop learning from those around you – even children. Wherever you are, be there. Don’t live in isolation. Invite and don’t wait to be invited. Welcome challenges into your life. Turn off the TV, the laptop, and the cellphone and be still and know God and those around you. Be friends with silence. See the possibilities. Linger a little longer in the Word. Make His joy complete by letting Him live His life out of you. Enjoy the journey. Take the long way home and walk each other home. Go further with fewer. Believe in what God’s grace can do in someone’s life. Hold things, people, and the future loosely. Find out why you do what you do and get the help you need to change. Read a book. Bake a cake for someone’s Birthday. Celebrate others’ lives before they are gone. Live loved. Give your best to those who either cross your path or stay on it – go to heaven empty. Live with eternity in mind.
